I know, I think I’m clever for thinking of the title, but the sentiment stands: Sometimes at work I have to address letters to people who include “Esquire” as part of their name or salutation. It has become apparent to me that the people who choose to do this are so self-important that they feel the need to have books addressed to them as “Richard Smith, Esq.” at “Random & Random, LLC”.I feel like this screams “I MADE IT THROUGH LAW SCHOOL! TAKE ME SERIOUSLY!”. Honestly, it just makes me think you’re a huge tool, particularly because I know plently of lawyers and yet didn’t even know until recently that the few (the too proud?) had adopted the use of “esquire” to indicate that they practice law (again…why does someone addressing a letter/package to you need to know that you’re a lawyer? They don’t. It’s obnoxious, so stop it). In my mind, it was an old English tradition that few clung to, but some felt was necessary to keep a foothold in the outer realm of good, noble company— in England. There it was at least acceptable, if not a bit pitiful (originally “esquire” was “squire”, the assistant or apprentice to a knight, so not even that baller anyway). I might actually respect you if you wanted your books and letters addressed to “Richard Smith, Ballin’ Human Rights Lawyer” or “Sue Brown, Badass Litigator”. I’d love to see those business cards, too.
I do feel like those who put Ph.D. behind their name have earned it—they can gaze longingly at those three letters as they spend the rest of their life paying off student loans and teaching underappreciative kids. I once had a young instructor at college who wrote in her syllabus, “Do not call me Miss Lamb, or Mrs. Lamb, or my first name. Call me Dr. Lamb. I didn’t spend 7 years working my ass off to be called Miss!” Well, seems like someone had some issues to work out, and I didn’t stick around to see her try. Drop/Add period is a beautiful thing.
