Today I discovered what my wrists and hands would like like should I ever have one too many a dish of pasta (it would be a glorious, cheesy downward spiral) and become obese.
Last night, Breisen and I hit the gym, and for the first time EVER the basketball courts weren’t packed with 14 year old male gymrats, who honestly scare the living crap out of me (they’re 14, they’re boys, they’re loud, they’re gross— what’s not scary about that?). Seizing on this dearth of gymrats, we signed out a basketball and started throwing it around. We were soon informed that Advanced Volleyball would be stealing the court away from us in fifteen minutes, so we played and started to leave. Upon reviewing the schedule, however, I noticed that it said “Instructional Volleyball”. Who was the loser that told us it was Advanced? We sauntered back to the gym, and the instructor (I think his name was “Thaddeus”, Breisen heard “Dariusz”, there is a high possibility it is the latter because Greenpoint is packed with Polish people) didn’t seem too thrilled to have two beginners on the team, but taught us the basics anyway. I did alright in practice, getting used to feeling like I was constantly being slapped on my forearms, but by the time gameplay started, I was missing shots, hitting airballs, and screwing up nearly every serve I had to take (I asked— you can’t “skip” being the server. They certainly would have let me if they were allowed). So they really did mean “advanced”…
Despite all this, my team won in 4 games. I looked down at my throbbing arms to discover a web of broken blood vessels and early bruises. I have bruised easily all my life, so I knew this was just the beginning. By the time I reached home, my right arm and wrist had swelled up quite a lot, while the left bore dark red dots I think must be micro-bruises. Today, they remain the same so I have an obese right forearm and wrist and a normal left (obscured by my long sleeved sweater).
I’m also using an icepack as a mousepad. Coolest kid in the office/on the volleyball court goes to me, the apparent spazzy quasi-hemophiliac.
